Wow, does time fly!

As I look back over the last 4 years tears roll down my cheeks and I wonder when this pain will end. I wonder how could this happen. I wonder why did God let this happen. Then I talk to the many people who knew my little brother and I know that he is in heaven now. I know that he passed on doing God's work. I know that he is happier there than he could ever be here. He has no pain or suffering, he is waiting for us. Yet, it hurts so bad.
Mike was asked by many friends to not go that weekend but he said no he had to go. He had to try one more time to get his buddy to turn his life around. When I heard that I knew for sure what a great man my brother was and only at the age of 24. He would give anything for anybody. He would drop whatever he was doing just to help out the next person. There was not a single selfish bone in his body.
I will never forget the amount of people we saw over the course of two days. My brother touched so many lives that Dover Center Rd became a parking lot during visitation hours:) There were some people who came for both visitations and the memorial service. However, there were many who only came for one. We saw, met, and heard from over 800 people who knew Mike and they all said what a great person he was, how well he listened, how much he had helped them, and of course what a great smile and laugh he had. We even got to meet the UPS delivery guy that use to deliver to Mike's job. The UPS guy! (In his uniform, in the middle of his route!) I think my jaw hit the floor when the pastor made the announcement after the memorial service that there was enough seeting for 500 people but there were way more than 500 people at the service. My brother's big heart reached so many people that the church was full! What a testament and legacy he has left behind. I can only pray that my children will grow to be such great men.
There are days that I wish I could just here his laugh again. Or see his beeming face. Or just be able to put my arm around him one last time to tell him how much I love him.
Thank you for being there for me whenever I needed an ear. Thank you for following God's direction for you. You have set an unbelievable example for all of us. I miss you and love you Mike.
God, please give my entire family and all who knew Mike the strength we need to get through this week as we celebrate and remember his life. Thank you for allowing us to have him in our lives as long as we did. Please continue to heal our hearts. Please bring forgiveness into our hearts.

School has been so much fun, work, and stress! I don't think anyone could have prepaired me for the amount of stress I was walking into. There is so much to learn, remember, and recall from previous classes that I spend a ton of time looking things up just as a refresher. Even with all this, it is totally worth it! The end will be here before I know it and I will be stepping into a whole new career that has so many opportunities I am not sure which area I want to start in. I am looking forward to being able to finally spend time with my children and hubby. They have been so fantastic since I started this endeavor and I thank God everyday for them. It is so difficult to leave them for class and clinicle but they are always waiting with hugs from me when I get home. Who could ask for a better way to come home?
I had my doubts about the whole nursing school thing at the beginning of this semester. Things were rough at home and I couldn't imagine adding on the stress of school to our home life. That was when my husband came to me and said that he wanted me to go part time at work. I almost fell over! I have been praying for this for a long time and the one thing I asked specifically for was that it could happen when I started my nursing classes. God has answered this prayer and so many more. There is absolutely no way I would still be married, be able to care for my 3 boys, have the GPA I have, work 3rd shift, and remain (for the most part) sane if it weren't for God's grace and mercy. He is such an awesome God, and I thank Him everyday for this opportunity. He gives me just the right amount of energy and strength I need each day.

As the years go by and Iwatch my sons grow up I realize what an awesome responsibility God has blessed me with. He has given me these boys to mold them, train them, and raise them in His image. It's not easy being a parent, no one ever said it was. I often ask God why He gave me three boys, then I think back to my childhood and remember the good times that Mike, Matt, and Josh had and how close they were. At that point I thank God for giving me three boys, there is something about the friendship my brothers had that is so special and I can see the same friendship building in my own boys. God knew what He was doing, He always does.
I pray for my boys each day. I pray that their eyes will see the truth, their ears will hear the truth, and their mouths will speak the truth. As the older two get on the bus I worry about what they will come across at school and the only thing I can do is pray.
As I trip over their toys almost breaking an ankle, I yell for them to clean them up, but I know that one day their toys won't be there. They will be grown and I will miss tripping on their toys almost breaking my ankle. Right now I look down at them when I talk but deep inside I know that in a matter of a few years I will be standing on a chair just to see them eye to eye.
I love my three sons. I am proud of them. They do their best to be everything that is expected of them. I probably don't give them enough credit where credit is due.
Thank you Jesus, for giving me three sons to love and cherish all the days of my life!

2009 Resolutions

It's funny, I have made resolutions in the past and drop them by the end of January. I just can't seem to be able to give up chocolate completely:) I know it's a flaw but come on, chocolate...do I really have to give it up? My answer is NO!!! Anyway, my resolutions are:

1. Go to church more than I did last year
2. Leave my worries and concerns with God because He can handle them better than me.
3. Be a better example for my children
4. Eat a better diet. This does mean to cut back on the chocolate, but not give it up completely. I don't know, I think it's called self control or something like that:):)
5. Exercise at a minimum 3 times a week
6. Lose 20 pounds. I will be happy with 20 pounds but would like to lose more.

2008 Blessings (some were in disguise)

Ok, so we have made it through yet another year. So how were we blessed this last year?

We were able to pay all our bills on time and pay off quite a few of them as well. What a relief to send in the payment knowing it was the last one we were making on that card!

Always have food on the table...the boys don't seem to ever stop eating so this is an amazing accomplishment:)

We were so blessed to have a warm home to come home to everyday...too many families lost their homes this year

Jobs...this is a big one...Thank you God for giving both Luke and I jobs that support our family

I think this was the first year since Sam's birth that we have not had any major medical issues or family losses...Thank you GOD!!!!!!

Luke and I were blessed to be able to take a vacation by ourselves. We were able to reconnect and just enjoy each other, what a blessing!

God gave me the strength to continue school...I honestly do not know how else I have gotten through the last few semesters. I could not have done it on my own.

There were so many other smaller blessing that we ran across this year. Although, small or large, they are still blessings from God.

God,
I can't thank you enough for what you have done for my family and me. Without you guiding us, I know we would not be where we are. I look forward to walking through this next year with you by my side. Picking me up when I fall, drying my tears, holding my hand when I am scared...

Thank you,
Katie

Please pray

I found out Friday that the bank I work for has been sold. We have been fighting this final demise for a little over a year now and unfortunately we have lost. While on one hand it is a relief to finaly have an answer to the unknown question of whether we were going to make it through these tough times. It is still extremely saddening and dissapointing at the same time. I have been there for a little over 8 years now and have been a part of many changes and consolidations and have seen us take over other banks. As of right now, I do not know how long I will have a job. I know that the deal does not close until the end of the year but from there I don't know. I know that God has a plan for me and my family. I just need to continue to trust and have faith that even though we may come out of this a little scarred and maybe even battered, God is still here and is going to see us through.
I pray for all of the employees of the bank as we prepare for the transition. I pray that we will be able to put brave faces on as we interact with each other and our customers. I pray that you will give us strength to go into work with a chearful heart everyday knowing that it may be our last day there. I pray that the job loss will be minimal and those who lose their jobs will be able to recover quickly and find new jobs. Lord, please give us all peace and forgiveness in our hearts.

There is nothing too large for God to handle and God won't give us anything that we cannot handle.

The other day I was listening to the radio and they were talking about lawyers, specifically female lawyers. I thought it was funny because they were saying that mothers, along with their other job titles they carry throughout the day, they are detectives, lawyers, judges, and jury all rolled into one. They have to determine which child is the one they will represent, by being the jury first and listening to both sides of the story. Then they have to act as the judge to determine final judgment. Well, just yesterday I had the pleasure of being all four in regards to a broken tv. Yes, my middle child, Andrew, came in to me all frantic saying that Sam, the youngest, had tipped the tv over. I ran into the living room and sure enough, there was the tv,, face down on the floor. Of course, as the detective, I had to do the questioning to start the investigation. I asked Andrew where he was at the time of the accident, he was in the kitchen getting a drink and then he heard a bump, he ran into the living room and saw that Sam had knocked the tv off the stand. I looked at Sam and asked if he had knocked the tv down. He looked at me with his big brown eyes and said “I knock tv down”. At this point I had to be the lawyer and tell Andrew that I will represent him because I felt he was innocent, in the case of the tv. So due to the substantial evidence, I decided that there was no need for the jury and went directly to the judge. As the judge, I sentenced Sam to his bed until I said he could get up, he took a good two hour nap that day:)